2014. Becoming that palace.


2014 is a new year. Obviously. And with it comes new excitement and challenge.
If it’s anything like I expect, it’s going to be a crazy ride. More on all of that to come.
My word for this year is “Grow”.
The past few months as I’ve began adulthood, I’ve sometimes struggled with wanting to return to college.
Wanting to return where life was comfortable and I knew I could handle all the things I juggled.
It was easy enough and dreams could stay dreams for a while longer.
It was good for the season, but the season has changed.

And today, I realized I might not have been as ready as I thought.
Because today, and in the past six months post college graduation, pretty dreams become good and messy realities as we begin to work out the steps that will get us to the dreams we created and prepared for all this time.
And sometimes I wonder if I can handle it at all.

These are the places where God has been calling me to. The places where I’m not sure I am capable.
The places that require trusting fully in Him.
In a deeper way than I trusted when I went to college or broke up with a boy or went to Africa or ran for a position. Because at the end of the day, there was always a backup plan.
If I was wrong, I could transfer or take him back or come home early or…

There was always someone to take at least some of the pressure off.
There was always a person to lean on.
And there still are. Don’t get me wrong, Mom and Dad and friends and family.
They will always be there. But I threw that mortar board into the air last May and now it’s up to me. Up to all of us.
And it’s exciting because there is huge potential.
The things we’ve worked for and prayed about, the things that really matter to us, they are becoming our lives.
Jobs are the beginning of careers. Dreams are realities. Married friends are more common than not.

And it’s good. So good. Our lives are more beautiful and full than ever before.
The things our parents and grandparents prayed for are becoming realities in front of our eyes.
But that doesn’t make it much less scary.

And this year, 2014, I’m learning, once again, to trust.
My word of the year is “Grow.” To move forward. To love fully. To embrace change.
There’s never growth without heartache because what was has to change to become what will be.
And like C.S. Lewis said we’re in the midst of becoming a palace when all we thought we could be was a fixed up little cottage.

Prayers are appreciated for the still-new college grads. You are so very loved.